There he lies, asleep on my bed. Don't get excited yet, I still haven't been able to scrape the courage together to tell him how I feel. It's rather a tricky one, I don't want to scare him off. That's probably bull. I'm scared, period. I'd rather live with the fantasy than face a possible reality that I do not desire.
Anyway. I invited him over for dinner, he came for dinner. Then after a decent meal, two glasses of redwine and two allergy pills (my kitty made his allergies act up), he just couldn't keep his eyes open. Now I don't have the heart to wake him, even though it's half past twelve and he said at ten past ten that he just wanted to quickly lie down for ten minutes.
I wish I could just curl up next to him and fall asleep to the sound of his breathing...
Wednesday, 12 March 2008
Saturday, 01 March 2008
A hug to remember
Last night after my last post, feeling lonely, depressed and bored, I decided to text him on the off chance that he would be intested in going for a drink or a game of pool or something along those lines.
He had a friend staying over for the weekend and they were watching DVDs, so he invited me over to join them!
I got to town and called him for instructions to his flat. When I arrived I called so that he could open up for me and he leaned out of the flat window, which was on the top floor, to see where I was. I thought, "What light through yonder window breaks..."
Lame, I know.
As always he looked like an angel. We watched "Hate Crime" till some of his friends showed up - apparently a friend who had come over to show off his latest boyfriend. While he chatted with them in afrikaans I chatted with his other friend in english, since he does not understand afrikaans.
After they left, we folded out the couch and got back to watching the DVD. All three of us were lying on the couch, with me in the centre. Lying next to him filled me with a feeling of contentment and when he fell asleep I was almost unable to resist the urge of putting my arms around him and drawing him closer. He looked even more like an angel.
After the DVD we let him sleep and me and his friend ended up chatting till quite late. Finally at around 2am I had my last cup of tea and left.
The sleepy hug he gave me when we said goodbye was one of the sweetest moments of my life as he momentarily rested his head against my chest, almost like a little boy would do with an adult he trusts and loves.
I haven't felt such a strong affection towards anyone outside my family before in my entire life as I felt towards him at that particular moment.
He had a friend staying over for the weekend and they were watching DVDs, so he invited me over to join them!
I got to town and called him for instructions to his flat. When I arrived I called so that he could open up for me and he leaned out of the flat window, which was on the top floor, to see where I was. I thought, "What light through yonder window breaks..."
Lame, I know.
As always he looked like an angel. We watched "Hate Crime" till some of his friends showed up - apparently a friend who had come over to show off his latest boyfriend. While he chatted with them in afrikaans I chatted with his other friend in english, since he does not understand afrikaans.
After they left, we folded out the couch and got back to watching the DVD. All three of us were lying on the couch, with me in the centre. Lying next to him filled me with a feeling of contentment and when he fell asleep I was almost unable to resist the urge of putting my arms around him and drawing him closer. He looked even more like an angel.
After the DVD we let him sleep and me and his friend ended up chatting till quite late. Finally at around 2am I had my last cup of tea and left.
The sleepy hug he gave me when we said goodbye was one of the sweetest moments of my life as he momentarily rested his head against my chest, almost like a little boy would do with an adult he trusts and loves.
I haven't felt such a strong affection towards anyone outside my family before in my entire life as I felt towards him at that particular moment.
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